Dear
Mr. Brad Blackstone,
My
name is Keith Chong. I am an undergraduate student at the Singapore Institute
of Technology (SIT) studying towards my bachelor’s degree in telematics. I graduated
in the year 2014 with a diploma in information technology at Nanyang
Polytechnic (NYP), specializing in social media analytics. While pursuing my diploma
in NYP, I was given the opportunity (during one of my computer lab sessions for
the module to explore emerging technologies in the ICT field) to explore upcoming technological
trends in the field of ICT.
My
curiosity was piqued when articles related to autonomous vehicle technology
surfaced, which kept my project team members captivated till the end of our lab session. Fascinated
about this subject, my team and I chose this topic as our topic of choice for
our final presentation. The time spent researching this field cemented our understanding on this subject whilst providing us better appreciation of both the ICT and automotive industry. This has consequently fueled my interest to pursue higher education in autonomous
technology and affirmed my decision to pursue a degree in the fields of telematics and be part of the SIT family.
Pertaining
to my communications skills, I have found report writing to be the lesser of
two evils when compared to my presentation skills. I admit that I have many
areas for improvement, most notably on areas involving public speaking, and I hope to cultivate and strengthen my soft skills in
communication while reinforcing my technical report writing skills during our classes.
Being
able to learn your guidance will be a tremendous learning experience for me. I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for your time and I look forward to our next technical communications lesson.
Yours
sincerely,
Keith
Chong
TLM1010
Tutorial Group 3
Initial Draft: 21 September 2017
First Revision: 05 October 2017
First Revision: 05 October 2017
On the overall, the structure of the formal letter was cohesive and the main ideas were aptly segregated in paragraphs. The self-introduction content was concise yet brief and elaborated sufficiently on the scope of topic as stipulated. A slight suggestion for this letter would be proof-reading before submission as the last paragraph contained a few grammatical lapses; one of which had completely tweaked the meaning of the sentence.
ReplyDeleteHenry Tan
Hello Henry,
DeleteThank you for highlighting the erroneous line as well as your thoughtful response. Will keep your feedback in mind.
Best regards,
Keith Chong
Dear Keith Chong,
ReplyDeleteI am glad that you are interested in autonomous vehicle. There are many interesting things about it and I believe you will be able to achieve what you are aiming.
I agree that you are soft in your communication skills, however you will be able to overcome it with the helps of the professors and classmates during your journey here.
Regards,
Kelvert Foo
Hi Kelvert,
DeleteThank you for taking the time to read my letter. Appreciate your feedback and I hope to work closely with you and our classmates to help everyone overcome their communication barriers over the next few years in SIT.
Best regards,
Keith Chong
Dear Keith,
ReplyDeleteYour choice of words and vocabularies are good! Your writing skills is definitely one that I would like to learn from. It is great how you have a huge interest in the autonomous technology. I believe that you will certainly achieve your goals at the end of this module.
Regards,
Shu Ting
Hi Shu Ting,
DeleteThank you for taking your time to read through my letter. Appreciate your comments.
Best regards,
Keith Chong
Dear Keith,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this clear and concise yet detailed letter. We learn something in it about your previous engineering experience, both in terms of general study and project work.
From this intro it is clear to me that you will have a lot to offer your coursemates. I also can sense that you can be of assistance to many of your classmates when it comes to insights on language use. In fact, though you also describe well your communication skills and perceived challenges, I have little doubt from what I have seen so far that you will thrive in our learning environment and that the challenges will fall to the side thanks to your talents and effort.
In terms of your language use, yours is not just a fluent letter but one that shows great command of phrase and sentence structure.
I look forward to working with you this term and reading more of your writing.
Brad
Two minor language issues:
Delete1) Our research conducted >>> (verb form)
2) take you for your time >>> ?
Hi Brad,
DeleteThank you for your response and feedback. Your words are really inspiring and motivating. Your comments will be duly noted. I look forward to your further support and guidance.
Best regards,
Keith Chong